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Fanon Princess Zelda
DOES SCREWATTACK EVEN DO THEIR RESEARCH?! DON'T THEY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ZELDA?! WELL ONE THING FOR SURE, I''' KNOW ALL ABOUT ZELDA! I KNOW EXACTLY HOW STRONG SHE IS! ALL PEACH EVER DOES IS GET KIDNAPPED! DON'T YOU REMEMBER THAT GAME WHERE ZELDA DOESN'T GET KIDNAPPED? I'M SURE THERE WAS ONE AT SOME POINT. Anyway, Zelda is a badass warrior wizard ninja pirate goddess princess who can totally fight even though we literally never see that ever, except in the non-canon Smash and Hyrule Warriors. Like, who would dress up like a ninja if they can't do everything Naruto can do? AND DON'T BRING UP ANY GAME WHERE PEACH FIGHTS OR DOES ANYTHING REMOTELY APPLICABLE TO COMBAT. THOSE AREN'T CANON. ANY MARIO GAME THAT IMPLIES THE EXISTENCE OF A CANON IS NOT CANON. MY GOLDFISH WORKS AT NINTENDO. Zelda is from a more serious game, after all. Why would she be weaker? Characters from more serious games are always stronger! It's just common sense! Powers and Stats [[Joke Battles Wikia:Tiering System|'''Tier]]: Stronger than Peach|WAY Stronger than Peach|INFINITELY SUPERIOR TO ALL PRINCESSES ESPECIALLY PEACH Key: Base Zelda | Sheik | Hyrule Warriors Name: Princess Zelda, Super Awesome Ninja Sheik, Master Swordfighting Pirate Tetra, Goddess Hylia Origin: The Legend of ZELDA Age: Looks young and oh so fine, but is actually older than time itself; she's the goddess Hylia after all, who totally doesn't willingly give up her divinity before ever being called "Zelda" or anything. Also, she remembers everything from all previous incarnations. Especially the time she BEAT PEACH! Classification: '''Badass warrior wizard ninja pirate goddess princess, my waifu, Better Peach '''Powers and Abilities: Being allowed to use blatantly non-canon material when Peach isn't allowed to use any material that isn't a plotless sidescroller, SUPER HYPE DIN'S FIRE (she must be able to use it the way Link uses it in OoT, too! She just never shows it!), healing herself (what?), Super Strength, Super Speed, transformation, Light Arrows (which instantly kill anything and totally don't rely on the target being evil and were totally able to significantly damage Ganondorf), teleportation (Peach has never dealt with a teleporting opponent before, right?), being a goddess and therefore omnipotence | All of the above plus NINJA SKILLS!!!! | EFFORTLESSLY MURDERING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT IMAGINE IF PEACH WAS HERE SHE WOULD BE DEAD [[Joke Battles Wikia:Attack Capability Scale|'Attack Potency']]: At least Princess Peach level '''(by powerscaling to Princess Peach; she has never fought Peach nor have any feats that would put her this high, but she's cooler, prettier, and from a more serious game) | '''Casual Princess Peach busting (she kind of looks like a ninja! Do you really think Peach can beat a ninja?) | Beyond the Concept of Losing to Princess Peach '(See what's happening to these generic enemies that peak humans are handling just fine? She'd do that to Peach. Please ignore how obnoxiously long it's taking me to kill Agitha) [[Joke Battles Wikia:Speed Scale|'Speed]]: Massively faster than Princess Peach (scales to Onox for no reason) | Fast as she needs to be (not only is she a NINJA, but she also TAKES DOWN AN ARWING!) | FTL (I can't even track her movements with some of these attacks! And her attacks are made of LIGHT!) [[Joke Battles Wikia:Lifting Strength Scale|'Lifting Strength']]: Better than Peach '(Peach struggles to lift a large radish) [[Joke Battles Wikia:Striking Strength Scale|'Striking Strength]]: Class PJ (short for Peachajoules, the number of joules needed to kill Princess Peach) [[Joke Battles Wikia:Durability Scale|'Durability']]: More durable than Peach '''(casually tanks attacks from Ganondorf, a villain who's way more evil than Bowser, shortly before taking a nap) | '''Basically Link level (tanked a full-power attack from a bloodlusted Bongo Bongo, shortly before taking another nap) | HOLY FRICK LOOK AT ALL THESE HEARTS! Stamina: A lot, probably (doesn't seem all that tired despite all being a badass warrior ninja pirate goddess wizard princess, which you'd think would be pretty tiring) | Ninja-like (in my headcanon Sheik spent all seven years Link was asleep doing rigorous ninja training with Impa even though nothing implies this) | SO MANY HEARTS! Range: Pretty far (she has a bow) | Right behind you | Everywhere Standard Equipment: A sword, Light Arrows, the Triforce of Wisdom which totally helps somehow | Deku Nuts, and whatever ninjas use! | Lots of Peach-killin' stuff Intelligence: Smarter than Peach Weaknesses: '''The Zelda haters who made Link win against a planet buster and the Mario fanboys who made Luigi lose to Tails. '''Notable Victories: PRINCESS PEACH A THOUSAND TIMES Marioverse (it's a less serious game, and any game from that franchise in which anyone is above peak human is not canon) Your waifu Wonder Woman (she's a princess and Zelda is better than all princesses) Notable Losses: Logic ScrewAttack (they CHEATED!) Daddy Sakurai (note: this was only base form Zelda. While Daddy Sakurai has been able to make base Zelda trash tier ever since her debut, he was only able to do this to Sheik with the power of tripping) Inconclusive Matches: N/A Category:Characters Category:Game Characters Category:Female Characters Category:Nintendo Category:Humans Category:Wanked Category:Waifus Category:Wank Tier Category:3rd Dimensional Beings Category:3rd dimensioner than Peach